Lessons in Sympathy

We are taught through those we observe as well as to question the morality of something as the issue of a behavior arises (i.e., being told something is wrong, by our parents, and then being told to make an apology). We are not taught, nor do most adults actually do, to seek out the right think to do. Instead, people by the nature they are taught to have, seek out what they want or desire and then only question the morality of the thing they want/desire or the method of achievement when its arises: when it triggers warnings in us, that are taught to us, that it violates ethics or morals. In short, our socialization consists of two parts: observing and discipline for the wrong behavior.

It is assumed that what behavior we are observing (by those that have already gone through this process) is good behavior, and what behavior is left after reprimanding to do is good behavior. The truth it is not for both, and therefore we are not taught good behavior. What we are taught is not bad behavior (I mean as most people refer it as ‘how to act right’). I do not mean to say we are not taught to sympathize with others.

Granted we are taught that hurting other people feelings is wrong (by being taught how we would feel if we had what we did to them done to us), but we are usually not taught how to make a person feel good for the sake of that person feeling good. I am not talking about being taught that it is a ‘right’ act to cheer a person up who is feeling down, but rather cheering someone up (when they are feeling normal) for the sake of cheering them up. Simply put, this doing true ‘good’ acts is not expected of us. Instead, what we call good acts are avoiding bad behavior and avoiding immoral temptations. Are there, however, actual true ‘good’ acts?

I do not doubt that people do true ‘good’ acts, but next time someone appears to do a ‘good’ act (i.e., for the sake of the act alone) you will see one of two things either the person is doing it for some kind of award or those around them are shunning the person as the result of the true ‘good’ act. Yes, sometimes people can see what award the person is after and are mad at the person for doing the good act for the sake of the award and not the act. If the act is truly good the person is likely to be shunned as we are taught being a goodie-two-shoes (i.e., etc.) is a bad thing (not only by are peers but by society as whole). Why then would someone do true good ‘acts’?

The truth is, I am not really sure. I suppose it may get down to wanting to make ourselves feel better: in which case we are not really doing the act for the sake of the act alone). Maybe it is all based on a solid learning of how to sympathize with others.